Deep Inside Hollywood

By Romeo San Vicente

Anderson Cooper! Meets! Avengers' Black Widow!

Not that anyone was really expecting this team-up, but wasn't it time for Anderson Cooper to appear in a Marvel comic book? I think we can all agree that it was his turn. And now he gets his chance. The silver fox CNN anchor is about to appear in "Black Widow" #12, due this November from Marvel, and his illustrated avatar will investigate the background of the Widow, aka Ms. Natasha Romanoff. Creators Nathan Edmonson and Phil Noto are interested in putting their Russian superhero's feet to the fire of journalistic inquiry, as Cooper seeks to possibly expose the true allegiances of this former KGB operative and assassin, now team member of America's favorite comic book (and film franchise) crime fighting squad. One guess: She probably turns up relatively clean, otherwise they'd have to boot her out of the Avengers, right? And since she spent the last "Captain America" film trying to set up Cap with eligible ladies, maybe she'll do a little homo matchmaking for Coop. And if this all sounds too ridiculous to be true, just remember: back in the day they built entire comic books around Superman and Jimmy Olsen meeting Jerry Lewis and retro insult comic Don Rickles (Google them, kids).

Maria Bello drives Stephen King's vehicle

Did you ever think you'd read the words "Stephen King" and "Lifetime Original Movie" in the same sentence? Well, you just did. And on Saturday, Oct. 18, you'll get the chance to see how that peanut butter responds when it's got Lifetime's chocolate all up in it. "Big Driver" is the name of the project and it's based on one of King's short stories. It stars the fairly recently un-heterosexualized Maria Bello, lesbian rock 'n' roll icon Joan Jett and Olympia Dukakis in a thriller about a mystery novelist (Bello) and her battle with a drifter/serial killer. After her car breaks down and she's sexually assaulted by the man and left for dead, she fights back revenge-horror style, a la "I Spit On Your Grave." Except about 7000 percent less offensive and gruesome. Because Lifetime Original Movie. In other news, they have not run out of Stephen King stories to turn into films and they probably never will.

Queer Eye for some more guys. And gals.

"The Secret Guide to Fabulous," which, you know, isn't weirdly retro '90s gay-sounding at "all," is a new show coming to Logo faster than you can say "rehashed concept." The not-so-secret makeover show kicks off on Sept. 3 and each 30-minute adventure will feature four (see? totally different) fabulousness experts who will reshape the lives of unfortunately style-and-fitness-challenged people. The helping hands include Shaun T., founder of the popular "INSANITY Workout"; Rob Younkers, a fashion professor at the Parsons School of Design; Theodore Leaf, the beauty editor of "Glamour" magazine; and designer John Gidding, who moonlights as a correspondent for Rachael Ray. Who to blame for more unreasonable expectations of gays popping into your life to give you makeovers? Just Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos, that's who. They're the producers. But we'll probably watch anyway. We like seeing busted, Cheetos-stained living rooms turned into West Elm advertorials.

We're all moving to 'Fresno' with Natasha Lyonne

Can you believe it's been 15 years since the Jamie Babbit-directed cult comedy "But I'm A Cheerleader" happened? In that time, the awesome, now-Emmy nominated actor Natasha Lyonne ("Orange Is The New Black") has built a career, lost a career, then rebuilt a career, and we couldn't be happier to see her back in action. In even better news, she's re-teaming with Babbit for a new movie, "Fresno," co-starring another woman we love, Judy Greer (FX's "Married"). Lyonne plays a no-nonsense lesbian and, alongside her sister (Greer), the heterosexual sex addict, the pair clean hotel rooms in the sleepy California town. Then they accidentally kill a guest. It's a comedy. And we already love it. It needs to be in theaters tomorrow. Please and thank you.

Romeo San Vicente has experienced a lot of hotel rooms in sleepy California towns and kept a lot of people awake. You're welcome. He can be reached care of this publication or at DeepInsideHollywood@qsyndicate.com.
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