Creep of the Week: Pam Bondi

By D'Anne Witkowski

Well, it's happened. A federal judge has ruled that Florida's anti-gay marriage ban is unconstitutional.

In his opinion, Judge Robert L. Hinkle compared the ban on interracial marriage to the ban on same-sex marriage, writing that today the arguments against interracial marriage "seem an obvious pretext for racism."

"When observers look back 50 years from now, the arguments supporting Florida's ban on same-sex marriage," he wrote, "will again seem an obvious pretext for discrimination."

Which means that Miami will soon be gay marriage capital of the world and Mickey and Donald and Minnie and Daisy can finally run off together! Because surely the people of Florida see that the tide is turning away from bigotry. And surely Florida's elected officials wouldn't waste their time and resources defending what is clearly a discriminatory law.

Ha ha ha. Just kidding. We are talking about Florida, after all.

And that's why Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi is going to fight for her right to say no to gay wedding parties.

Despite Judge Hinkle's strong language against the ban, he did issue a stay of the ruling, which means that gay and lesbian couples can't get married in Florida. Yet.

Bondi would like to keep it that way and it seems like her strategy is to keep Florida's gay and lesbian couples in limbo until the Supreme Court finally rules on the issue.

"When I was sworn in as attorney general, the 37th attorney general of the state of Florida, I took an oath. I took an oath to defend the Constitution of the state of Florida," Bondi said according to Orlando Sun-Sentinel. "Six years ago by over 62 percent of the vote, the voters of this state put that into our Constitution."

"That," of course, would be the anti-gay marriage ban.

"There are good people on both sides," she continued. "We want finality. That's what we need. The U.S. Supreme Court's going to hear this. They are going to make this determination."

And she's right. The issue will eventually make its way to the Supreme Court. But when she acts as if her hands are tied, don't believe it. Attorney generals across the country are declining to defend these hateful and hurtful laws. But Bondi isn't one of them.

"This is me doing my job as attorney general," she added. "And I will continue to do that and if anybody wants me to moderate my message or stand for less I have a message for them: I am just getting started."

It's not entirely clear to me what she means by "moderate my message" or "stand for less." But it seems like she's saying she isn't going to kowtow to any marriage-destroying homos no matter how unpopular her position.

Keep in mind, Bondi has been divorced twice. Granted, that should be nobody's business, except when she claims that she's a defender of marriage, that fact becomes relevant.

Let me point out that Bondi, a Republican, is running for reelection in November against either George Sheldon or Perry Thurston (the primary is Aug. 26, so by the time this goes to press we will know which one). Both are Democrats, and both have said they would not fight to uphold Florida's anti-gay marriage law.

So if you live in Florida, a vote against Bondi is a vote in favor of equality. And if you don't live in Florida, see if you can't get your Maw Maw or Nana or Pops or Gramps to vote against her because Bondi also hates old people. After all, she's argued that marriage should only be between people who can "naturally" procreate. Which is as much an argument against same-sex marriage as it is against octogenarian marriage if you think about it.

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