Without Ice, Part 2
By Ed Sikov
Originally printed 12/20/2012 (Issue 2051 - Between The Lines News)
When last we left our fearful columnist, he was attempting to transliterate his wretched Harry Beaton imitation into print. Harry, of course, is the character from the musical "Brigadoon" who threatens to leave the quaint, out-of-time village in Scotland and therefore bring ruin to all who inhabit it. The subject, perhaps needless to say, was Scotch - the whiskey, not the people of Scotland - and its ability to be enjoyed without that critical electricity-dependent product known as ice. The scars left by Hurricane Sandy include billions of dollars in reconstruction costs and this writer's inability to get beyond cocktails best served neat. I was traumatized, dammit! Cut me some slack!
Scotch served my husband, Dan, and me well for the second and third nights of Sandy-induced powerlessness. But by Evening Four, we'd both grown a little tired of even my favorite single malt, Talisker. I'd been careful to stock the bar in the days before Sandy swept in, and in retrospect, I think I'd been steered to the Scotch department unconsciously by the name "Sandy": "Now all of ye come to Sandy here/ Come over to Sandy's booth!/ I'm sellin' the sweetest candy here/ That ever shook loose a tooth!" (Guess that musical! I'm sorry. I can't help it.) So we turned westward to the Emerald Isle.
No, I don't mean the National Rental Car desk at our nearest airport. I mean Ireland, people! Leprechauns! The Stone of Scone! Joyce, Yeats, and Peter O'Toole! (As the great John Waters once observed: Peter O'Toole? That's as bad as Muffy O'Clit.)
Moving right along ... Dan grunted unpleasantly when I suggested another Talisker at cocktail hour on the fourth evening of our forced confinement. We were down to eating unheated canned soup and tuna salad without the celery or mayonnaise. (OK, call it what it was: tuna straight from the can.) Our meal was grim, but cocktail hour was saved by the bottle of Jameson just waiting for an occasion to be opened. How I love the Irish!
Scotch, Canadian and Irish whiskey are all distilled from fermented grain mash; grains include barley, rye, wheat and corn, some of which are malted. (Malting involves halting the germination process by drying the grain with hot air.) Each nation's whiskey has its own particular taste, though, not only because the grain tastes different depending on the soil and climate of the country, but also because of differences in each liquor's aging as well as the type of grain itself. Typically (though not necessarily), Scottish whiskey crafters use peat smoke to dry the malt; characteristically - though again not necessarily - Canadian whiskey is brewed from corn. Irish whiskey, of which Jameson is the exemplar, is generally distilled from unpeated malt and has a faintly sweet aroma and taste. It's not as sweet as bourbon, but it's distinctly sweeter than Scotch.
Jameson, like any good whiskey, can be enjoyed on the rocks or neat. Dan and I had ours neat by necessity, there being no ice. There being no running water either, I might add, the two of us had begun to - how shall I put it? - stink. Given alcohol's marvelous ability to kill germs, perhaps we should have swabbed ourselves with Jameson, but that would have been reckless. So we each gave ourselves a "French whore's bath," meaning a quick wipe-down with a washcloth dipped in the bathtub we'd filled with water as a precaution before the storm hit. Later, we got into a little - um, well - rank piggy action under the influence of the whiskey. My, my, my! Who said smelly old dogs couldn't learn new tricks?
- Air Conditioning/Heating
- C&C Heating & Air Conditioning
- Campus; Student and Alumni Groups
- Hope Gay-Straight Forum
- Gutter Guard Systems
- LeafFilter North of Michigan Inc.
- Hotlines & Switchboards
- Flint Crisis Line
- Pet Boarding
- Wag'n Tails Pet Resort
- Religious & Spiritual
- First Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Ann Arbor
- GIFT - "Gay Christian? Yes!" Campaign
- Substance Abuse
- Alcoholic Anonymous
- Meadow Brook Theatre
- Humane Society of Huron Valley
Enter contests to win great prizes like CDs, DVDs, concert tickets and more
- Q&A: Annie Lennox On Her Legacy, Why Beyonce Is 'Feminist Lite'
- Q&A: Getting To The Core Of Nick Jonas: Abs, Album & That Gay Striptease 'They Made Me Do'
- GOP Hopeful Wants 'Christians' Fleeing MI If Gays Get Civil Rights
- Creep of the Week: Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder
- Q&A: Lisa Kudrow On Judging 'Drag Race' (As Valerie Cherish!) & Gays Being Biologically 'Superhuman'
Sign up to receive our weekly newsletters today!
In a Sept. 27 op-ed in the Detroit News, conservative Republican columnist Nolan Finley raised serious concerns about three Republican candidates running for the state house Nov. 4. Todd Courser of Lapeer, Cindy Gamrat of Plainwell and Gary Glenn of Midland -- all correctly identified by Finley as a "trio (who) seeks tea party tyranny." Nolan describes Glenn and Courser as "extremely anti-gay (who) would turn the Republican Party into a fundamentalist denomination of the Christian Church if given the chance." Finley warned that the trio's narrow views on the Legislature could cripple the government and its ability to work across the aisle to move the state forward. Their agenda also includes killing any expansion of the Elliot-Larsen act to include LGBT protections.View More Pride Source Votes
This Week's Issue
Download or view this week's print issue today!
Sign up to receive our weekly newsletters today!