By Charles Alexander
Originally printed 7/14/2011 (Issue 1928 - Between The Lines News)
I've returned after a heavenly week, all expenses paid, from Porta Bloomers, Texas, for the first international convention of Bilingual Drag Queens for Jesus. Hola-la-la!
I flew first class with 50 lovelies, including Senorita Sinsational, Farmington; Lola Latinate, Royal Oak; Carmencita Dilamente, Ferndale; and Evangelista Connie Maricona, Flat Rock.
BDQ4J is Rev. Connie's radiant dream come to fruition. "I was filled with the Holy Ghost while performing flamenco at a benefit for retired Catholic drag queens, when I just knew heaven had given me a special lip-synch calling.
"It blessed me like a whirling disco ball! There are Jews for Jesus. Muslims for Jesus. Plural Wives for Jesus. Tea Baggers. Lactovegetarians. Dykes for Jesus. Even psychiatrists. Why in hell shouldn't there be Drag Queens for Jesus? Bilingual ones at that. Don't we count?"
(She's got a point. If other minorities can take a JC stand, why can't cross dressers? The Big Guy rubbed elbows with tax collectors, prostitutes, sinners, and lately Rebiblicans. Surely drag queens are several notches above those misfits. And bilingual to boot! But, forgive me, I digress.)
The 15-hour flight, non-Las Vegas casino stopover, was fantasy in motion. Time whizzed by watching old Carmen Miranda movies, clacking and clicking castanets, singing romantic flamenco cantantes, sharing huevos rancheros recipes, comparing platform high-heel inches, giving and getting glossolalia. And praying. Mostly when taking off and landing.
Time for una confessione, semi-sordidto, mama mia ...
Reluctantly I joined the mile high falling out in the spirit club. It was the thrill of a lifetime. Talk about turbulence! Truly, there's a first for everything. You haven't lived 'til you've been overcome by the spirit, going at it all tongues, getting a breathtaking rapture. A los pedos!
In spite of the fact it was devilishly hot - 120 in the shade, and my Spanish is limited to a basic gringo vocabulary of intransitive verbs - I had a fantastic time, thanks to the hospitality of Rainbow Airlines flight attendant Chance Las Alamos (who grew up with a gay third cousin, since turned Democrat, of Sarah P, as in pudenda).
Chance, it turns out, is into older gringos. (He said I'd look hot in Poncho Villa chaps and matching leather-trimmed sombrero.) When he found out I was planning to make my convention visit subject of a social work master's thesis, his long-neglected paternal guidance fixation kicked in.
He hugged often. I tipped generously. Carumba! I love his South of the Borderline hospitality. Muy caliente!
My diary entries are here for sharing. Lunes: Spent most of the day visiting cacti sculptures. Ouch! Martes: Came in second in Taco eating contest (240 tacos!). Miercoles: A bummer! Spent day in bed with the Gringo Gallop. Jueves: "Hotter Than Tequila" parade beads of sweaty fun. Marched with Proud Putos of El Paso.
Viernes: Hung out with cowpokes from Porta Bloomer Bronco Busters. Rode side saddle six times. Sabado: Visited El Aricoris Hotel massage therapist for spinal adjustment. Loved midnight campfire Drag Singsperation. Surprise guests: Los Fregonos S/M Gospel Quartet, and multitalented Mexican Border Crossers for Jesus Belle Ringers.
Domingo: Can say without fear of perdition: the closing Drag Queen Living Rosary (I was third Our Father from the right) and the Stations of the Crossdressers Pageant at John Wayne Football Stadium were a climatic first in the history of Ecumenical Christianity.
I'm humbled to relate BDQ4Js really do know how to lip synch "God Bless America" and that perrenial "skirts up" gospel favorite, "Love Lifted Me." Hopefully, their recent appearance in Porta Bloomers will hasten the day when same-sex marriage will be legal there.
Chance Las Alamos and I - call me, Sr. Carne de Gallina - Mr. Goose bumps - just might have Rev. Connie perform our wedding. Que cajones!
Charles@pridesource.com Happy BDQ4J to you!
- AIDS/HIV Organizations
- Kalamazoo County Health & Community Services
- CARES (Community AIDS Resource and Education Services)
- Granite Transformations
- Deck Builders
- Cedar Works
- Event Planners
- Star Trax Event Productions
- Ed Lazar Insurance Agency, Inc.
- Trillium Birth Services
- Religious & Spiritual
- Williamston United Methodist Church
- Social/Community Organizations
- Michigan Pride, Inc
- Lambda Car Club International - Detroit Region
Enter contests to win great prizes like CDs, DVDs, concert tickets and more
- Exclusive! 'Looking' Star Russell Tovey On Sex Scenes, His Famous Butt & That Rimming Cake
- ALERT Missing Person In Metro Detroit
- Q&A: Andy Cohen On His (Almost) Tell-All Book, 'Nasty' Names Gays Call Him
- Divine Intervention: Bette Midler Talks Early Gay Support, 'Diva' Degradation & Twerking ('Girls, Please!')
- Creep of the Week: The Duggars
Sign up to receive our weekly newsletters today!
A study published in the journal The Lancet HIV reports that there is a significant disparity in HIV prevalence between black and white men who have sex with men. The study was published on Nov. 18 and found a startling 32 percent prevalence rate for black men who have sex with men, compared with only eight percent for white men who have sex with men.View More World AIDS Day
This Week's Issue
Download or view this week's print issue today!
Sign up to receive our weekly newsletters today!