Deep Inside Hollywood

By Romeo San Vicente

Does Tom Cruise wanna 'Rock'?

When you think of Tom Cruise and the 1980s, what's the first thing that comes to mind? "Cocktail" is the right answer, obviously, and it's clearly on the minds of gay director Adam Shankman and his new collaborator, Chris D'Arienzo, too. Together, the pair will bring D'Arienzo's Tony Award-nominated hair-metal musical "Rock of Ages" to the big screen and they'd like Tom Cruise to join in on the fun. If Cruise agrees, he'll be playing a supporting role, a bartender who loves to belt out '80s hits by Def Leppard and Poison. And if he wants to juggle a few booze bottles while doing so then who's going to stop him? The guilty-pleasure musical is also rumored to be casting the equally unlikely musical talents of Seth Rogen and that well-established song delivery system named Taylor Swift. So please, Mr. Cruise, consent to this role. They have this thing called AutoTune now and it does wonders for people like you. Furthermore, if a poll were taken right now, it would be unanimous that audiences really want to hear you take on Warrant's "Cherry Pie."

Drew Barrymore's next 'Angels' idea

You can thank Drew Barrymore's tenacious producing skills and this season's successful reboot of '70s TV staple "Hawaii Five-0" for the following bit of news: "Charlie's Angels" may be returning to your television screens. The big-screen version starring Barrymore, Lucy Liu and Cameron Diaz was successful enough to spawn a somewhat less successful sequel. But the Angels have always really been more at home on the small screen. And after a year in development, three new crime-fighting ladies are headed back to the set for a pilot. Production is scheduled to take place in Miami early in 2011, which means there's not much time to assemble a powerful triad of sexy, smart, hair-flipping women to fill the shoes of the legendary Kate, Jaclyn and Farrah. An entire squadron of executives is trying to figure out how to meet Megan Fox's salary quote right now.

'True Blood' to feature even more lesbians

In the great battle of Gayest Show On Television That's Not Already "The A List: New York," most people would simply declare "Glee" the winner. But that's just because those people haven't gotten on board the "True Blood" train yet. Not even counting the gay man-vamps, "TB" is a homopalooza of sexy femme ghouls, a lesbian blood utopia. So why not add another next season? That's what will happen with new character "Naomi," an Asian-American cage fighter who enjoys the company of other females when not fighting them to the death. The possibilities for entanglements with the shows other lez-leaning ladies like Kristin Bauer, Evan Rachel Wood, Jessica Tuck and Lindsey Haun are practically endless. No one's been cast in the role of Naomi yet, but that sound you just heard was every Asian actress in Hollywood practicing kickboxing moves and their sensually-biting-stuff techniques.

Sarah Silverman takes off her clothes for Sarah Polley

Acclaimed actor-director Sarah Polley ("Dawn of The Dead") has already wowed critics with her Julie Christie-starring feature "Away From Her" and expectations are high for her upcoming comedy "Take This Waltz," starring Michelle Williams and Seth Rogen. Sarah Silverman has been part of the cast for a while now, as Rogen's sister, but news of her shooting a nude scene for the film has just surfaced. Strangely enough, this news has reverberated around the Internet not so much among lesbians or straight men, but among her gay male fans. Silverman has long been a champion of gay rights and of hilariously edgy gay jokes, so she's become something of a queer comedy diva. And even if her following isn't so into the lust-inducing properties of her "big naturals" (as she frequently refers to them) it seems they're very much on board for her decision to finally show them off to the world. The opportunity to pay good money for this show of flesh is coming along in 2011.

Romeo San Vicente believes that naked people are inherently hilarious. He can be reached care of this publication or at DeepInsideHollywood@qsyndicate.com.

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