Creep of the Week: Mark Souder

by D'Anne Witkowski

OK "family values" politicians, I don't care if you cheat on your wives. Frankly, that's between you and your wife and whomever else you're humping. But when you hold your pecker up as the holy grail of one-man-one-woman marriage, then your affair becomes my business.

U.S. Rep. Mark Souder (R-Ind.) is the latest anti-gay politician to be caught with his pants down. After it was revealed that he's been screwing a staffer he announced his resignation - you know, for the good of his family.

"In the poisonous environment of Washington, D.C., any personal failing is seized upon, often twisted, for political gain," he said in a statement. "I am resigning rather than to put my family through that painful, drawn-out process."

Aww, how sweet. What a good guy. You know, I wouldn't be surprised to learn that this whole affair was a ploy to get closer to his wife and kids. Because of how much he values families. Except gay and lesbian ones, of course.

Souder, who has compared gays to alcoholics, voted in favor of the Constitutional marriage ban, filed an amicus brief against D.C.'s marriage law, and last year he claimed that giving government employees domestic partner benefits was just a sneaky way to redefine marriage.

According to his website: "Studies consistently demonstrate that it is best for a child to have a mother and father, and I am committed to preserving traditional marriage, the union of one man and one woman."

Committed to preserving traditional marriage for the rest of the country. Not for him so much. Not that anyone should take this whole affair thing and try to use it against him.

"By stepping aside, my mistake cannot be used as a political football in a partisan attempt to undermine the cause for which I have labored all my adult life," he said.

I'm not sure how calling out a so-called "family values" politician about cheating on his wife is partisan. Hypocrisy bleeds across party lines.

Did I mention that Souder made a video with his mistress praising abstinence-only education?

Souder does have defenders, however. Penny Nance, CEO of Concerned Women for America, a virulently anti-gay conservative group, blames D.C. for the fact that Souder humped a woman who wasn't his wife.

"If Mark Souder is capable of sexual misconduct, it could happen to anyone. The frat house environment on Capitol Hill does nothing to encourage accountability. Most members do not live with their families while they are working in D.C. during the week," Nance said in a statement.

True, politicians on Capitol Hill have it rough when it comes to seeing and being with their families. But you know, a lot of people have jobs that take them away from their spouses for days and weeks at a time and manage not to screw anyone else.

Nance also challenges family values candidates and incumbents to "guard their hearts and reputations and to live by higher standards that reflect the traditional moral values our country holds so dear."

In other words, "OMG! WTF? Every time I turn around another one of you has cheated on your wives or propositioned men in public restrooms or hired prostitutes. Knock it off, assholes. You're making us look bad."

Remind me again how it's gays and lesbians who threaten family values?

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